The common names we have bestowed on some animals do not do them justice. To start – I’m disappointed by how many of our names for animals are iterative. Take the genius additions of lionfish, dogfish, batfish or even catfish —  by the time we were naming fish were we even trying? And then there are the names that can double as clever insults. In fact, @d_tinker and I used to call one another many of the examples I’ve listed below using #wildlifeinsults as the hashtag. And that is actually what inspired this blog post. The names I’ve included below will not only introduce you to awesome new wildlife you should know more about– but it will also expand your insult vocabulary. These names are only to be used for playful and funny reasons. I don’t encourage insulting people with the names of awesome animals in any real capacity– for fear it will make them dislike animals. Instead– perhaps we’re introducing you to your new spirit animal.

Animal Inspired Insults

Five-lined Skink
Hagfish
Hoary Bat
Dikdik
Bufflehead
Kakapo
Snot Otter
Crappie
African Wild Ass
Cockle (bivalve)
Chubsucker
Carpet Shark
Bighead Carp
Stinking Corpse Lily
Slimy Salamander
Hairy Beardtongue
Bushtit
Ash-breasted Tit-tyrant
Dhole
Yellow-bellied Sapsucker
Markhor
Snub-nosed Monkey
Evergreen bagworm
Showy Lady’s Slipper
Fangtooth
Bony-eared assfish

I’m collecting more…any ideas? I’ll keep adding them. 
Insult people with classy wildlife names and your IQ will soar.